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Session 10 ~ No matter how you feel about Martha Stewart and the personal mistake that put her at odds with U.S. Government lawmakers, you can’t deny this woman’s amazing resilience and buoyancy. So what can we learn from Martha? And what is it that makes some people so capable of bouncing back in the face of adversity? Martha Stewart isn’t unique in her ability to make the adverse lessons of life work for her. We all have the potential for this inner capacity. We all have an innate ability to rapidly size up a situation and solve problems, at the same time handling the intense emotions that may accompany a personal or business crisis. But some people seem to know better how to respond –- to rationally analyze the situation and find a solution, rather than just react on an emotional level. Those with less resilience, on the other hand, tend to go straight to their emotions and react. The difference here is the ability to choose to respond, versus the knee-jerk tendency to just react. What is Resiliency? First they feel the emotions. But if they were to stop there, what they will do is a knee-jerk reaction probably ending up in anger. Although that’s perfectly natural, such intense emotions activate an older portion of the brain that automatically overrides your higher thinking centers. A resilient person, on the other hand, will respond like Martha did when she gave lemons out to reporters -- announcing that she would make lemonade. Her Mom must have taught well: When dealt a lemon (a bad situation), make the best of it by making lemonade! Good advice! The next step a resilient person will take is to avoid wasting energy on regret and unhappiness -- and just move on. This attitude of looking forward instead of back over their shoulder is a key component of resilience. A less resilient person might instead be forever emotionally crippled by the crisis they face. Are Some People Born Resilient? The researchers found that people with naturally above-average activity in this brain region are more likely to feel positive moods, and tend to be more resilient and buoyant. They concluded that our brains could be hard-wired so that, to some degree, how happy we're going to be could be at least partially genetic I’m forced to question their conclusion. Although there could be a genetic influence over your resilience, the effects of your thoughts, habits and attitudes cannot be denied. And many of these date all the way back into your childhood environment. Is Resiliency a Learned Trait? Research by Dr. Ken Sheldon, an associate professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri-Columbia, has shown that resilience is associated with such personal characteristics as:
So if we were to paint a picture of a resilient person, we would say they are most likely comfortably independent and capable, have high self-esteem and confidence, build close relationships easily, and handle change with ease. The good news is that all of these skills can be (and are) developed! So even if you didn't learn these skills as a youngster, you can still develop them as an adult by learning to respond, rather than react, to stressful situations. Action Tips (1) Watch for your last lesson in a few days. You will find it especially helpful. (2) Go visit our major website for a great source of motivational articles and information. Click here Here's to your continued success. Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler Ravino, Inc.
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